If you have found your way to this site, Hello, my name is Shelby Johnson. I've set up this site to keep track of my weight loss journey. I've tried many a time to lose this weight, as I will explain further, and hope that this time will be the last. I know this journey may take a while, so I feel that it is necessary to write down everything that may happen. If I make a mistake, I can go back and read my posting to see what I may have done wrong, and then try not to do it again.
This blogging thing is new to me, so yes I probably will have a few grammatical errors. I am not by any means a writer, but I feel it is necessary to tell you how I got here.
My name is Shelby Paige Anne Johnson, I was born and raised in Hamilton, Ontario. My birthday is September 26, 1990. I live with my mom, and I have an older sister who currently is living in Ottawa and just finished her degree in Journalism. I feel like my sister plays a big part in how I feel about my self image, but more on that later, first you need to know more about me.
I guess my problem with my weight must have started in around grade 7 or 8. I was never really an overweight child. Yes, I may of had a little bit of a belly, but my weight was still about average. I was always taller than everyone in my grade so it didn't really matter if I weighed more. I was athletic, I played basketball and volleyball since I was tall. Looking back now, I know that sports are very important in children's lives. So, as I said, I WAS athletic, past tense. Why you say? Well when I was about 12 or 13 I was diagnosed with ITP (Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura, yea a mouthful to say). Well this meant my spleen was killing my platelets, which are the things in your blood that clots your blood. Since I had low platelets, my blood was thin, which meant I could not heal as fast. The doctor said I could not play sports anymore because of the risk of internal bleeding even with minor injuries. This even meant I couldn't continue horse back riding or skiing. I didn't really mind then, but now, I really wish I could go back into it. Slowly my ITP got better, my platelet count went up slowly but surely and now I am no longer affected by it.
Now, on to high school. During most of high school, I was 5'7" and weighed about 160 - 170. Just a little over average. I was never really eating bad food since my mother always cooked for me and my sister. I never felt like one of the skinny girls tho, most of my friends were and still are around 5'3 to 5'5' and weighed around 100 pounds.
In grade 11 I met my boyfriend Thomas. I had a crush on Thomas since grade 9 and was so excited when we first started dating. Thomas is the athletic type, he is about 6'0" and weighs 155. Lean, but muscular. He is addicted to the gym. But see the thing about Thomas is, he can eat anything he wants! Does not affect him one bit. Yes, I know, it will all catch up to him sooner or later, but for now, its hard to be around a person who can eat like he eats. Looking back on it now, I always say I was about 5'9" and weighed 175, but Thomas says I was 165. For arguments sack, lets just say I was 170. We started dating in summer of grade 11.
Grade 12 was fun, but it was around this time, I was noticing that I stopped getting taller and started to get a little bit heavier. Now when I gained weight, it didn't really show at all because it always evened out. It was the summer we graduated when I thought, I really need to do something. I was definitely 175 then. I went to the gym, and mom started to watch what I ate. I think I even did a low carb diet, but nothing really happened.
It was when I started at Mohawk College when I decided this is the time, I need to lose this weight now. I was a definite 180. Oh, I remember the exact reason now why I felt like I need to lose weight. Remember I said that my sister plays a big part in how I feel about myself? Well my sister, Sasha, she is one year older than me, is about 5'4" and weighs something like 105, I don't know something crazy small. She has the best fashion sense, and is just gorgeous. I always wanted to be like her, but its kind of hard to be like her when I towered over her. Right, well Sasha was off in Ottawa studying Journalism and she came back for the weekend. We were sitting at the table just talking and she was looking at me funny. I turned to her and said "What?" and she said "um, I know this might be a little rude, but I just have to ask, are you pregnant?" I was just stunned by the question, I knew I had a tummy but I didn't think it was that prominent. So that was that, my start to my ever loathing hatred of the way I look.
I started Herbal Magic that year. My first real attempt at changing my life. I was 180, 5'9" and very unhappy. When I walked into Herbal Magic, I was a little put off, I never trust companies. But when I sat down with the consultant, she really seemed interested in me. (Yes I know, they are supposed to sound like that to sell the product, but I don't care.) To start Herbal Magic it was $600.00 and each week I needed to buy these supplements. The WM200 which was $50.00 a week, and the Chromagic which was $25.00 a month. To this day, the only bad thing about Herbal Magic is that you have to pay this much money. The program was set out like this: I was told that the program lasts a year. For the first part of the year, it is weight loss. They calculate how long you will be losing weight but setting a goal weight, which mine was 140, and tell you how long it will take if you lose 2 pounds per week. (This is a healthy goal, you should never plan on trying to lose more than 2 pounds per week.) Then after losing the weight, you stabilize for 2 months, Its when they track your weight and raise the amount of food you have been eating. They raise your food intake but make sure you aren't eating too much so that the weight comes back. Then the rest of the year is the maintaining. This is when they continue to track your weight and make sure you don't bounce back to your old ways.
When I started Herbal Magic, I lost the weight really quickly. Sometimes even 3 pounds a week. Every time i went in, which was practically everyday, I was going down. Every day I was just so happy to go in. My consultant was really friendly, it was not what I thought it would be like. She was more like a friend than anything, we would talk about my day and things coming up and she gave the best tips on food. I was losing weight like no tomorrow! Soon enough I was 160, then I plateaued. I tried everything to break the plateau, I bought these plateau breaker, I changed everything I was eating, but nothing. Eventually I got to a point where I was spending all this money and I felt horrible about it. Week by week would go by and I was giving so much money but no change. Then my consultant quite Herbal Magic and that was the that. I tried to stay but I felt the new consultant didn't know my problems and I just couldn't stay.
Unfortunately, this wasn't a good time for me and Thomas either, we had been dating for about 2 years now, and we were on a rough patch. I turned straight to food. You know when people say, you gain it all back and more. Well that's what happened, in just a few weeks I hit 185. I felt horrible. It was so bad. I then thought well I can't make my own food choices, why don't I try Jenny Craig, that way they can tell me what to eat and that's that. Well that wasn't just that's that, yes it was only $20.00 to start Jenny, but each week, the food would cost something like $125.00. The worst part was that I would eat all of my Jenny food in just 4 days, which meant I would eat other food as well. So that was a bust.
I think that's when I gave up on dieting for a while. Thomas always tried to get me to go to the gym, and I would, a little here and there, but it never really stuck. I did start a spin class just a few months ago, but I stopped going.
So here I am, May 23, 2011. I currently am 5'10" and weigh 202.4. I made a promise to myself on my 20th birthday last September, I would not spend my 20's overweight. I have 4 months left. I don't know if I can make it, but i will try. My goal is 150, that's 50 pounds to lose. Seems like so much, but I have turned to the only thing I know that works, Herbal Magic.
There are a few things that I will do differently this time, and hopefully these changes are the things that will make it stick.
1. I will try to get to the gym at least 3 times a week. (I didn't go to the gym last time I was on Herbal Magic, so I hope that the gym will help a lot this time)
2. I will try not to rely on my Herbal Magic consultant for the majority of my support, I will try to give myself encouragement and support so that I can rely on myself!
3. I will try not to cheat and not convince myself that something is ok, when it is not ok.
4. I will work my hardest and stick to this all the way through.
This is the change, the final change. The thing that will make my life different. This is not a diet, this is a life-style change. I am excited and I hope I can make myself proud!
